Inside I'm screaming 'I love you'

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Your smile reminds me of switchblades & infidelity

I've been busy, I guess? Hahha, yep! I'm done with Sassy's art, Amy's cd. & my songs! Just downloaded Deep & Meaningless by Rooster. This song is GREAT (: Hah, I'll put up the lyrics.

I, I don't know why I miss you so much
Yeah I, I don't know why I still feel your touch
You, you left me feeling high and dry
With nothing, nothing but the question why

Yeah you, I guess you had another direction
And leaving me with nothing but a dead connection

*chorus,
If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

You, you knew what you were doing to me
And I, I guess I was too blind to see
Well you hit where it hurt and you fooled me so bad
But I'd do it again to relive what we had
(Damn that's sad)

There are many things left to remind me
Of a love that I just can't leave behind me

*chorus, repeat

I had a great time at school today. Though it was quite spoilt yesterday by some people. Ohwells, forget it. 6 periods of Miss Sek's, which is equivalent to erm.. 3 hours? HOW COOL. LOVE IT YES? Omg & she's is driving me nuts alright. Her homework totally cannot do (ok maybe I'm just dumb) & it's a lot of work. Like doing maths, a lot of working need to be done. & I find her quite contradicting. Ok whatever. So lessons go on & on. During recess, Sassy wanted to produce her god dang sexaye voice to the world. So she sighed like she's having a gazillion burdens on her. like SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (say it loud & clear ok). So me, mich & Sassy started to 'shout' like that person is across the whole canteen when we're like next to each other. Went back to Miss Sek's classroom then I was drinking Mich's lemon tea. She shout like ENOUGH! like damn loud. & she started laughing, I had drink in my mouth & I really got the urge to laugh please. So end up I throw out(correct?) the lemon tea on the floor. It was damn retarded la. I had to clean up the place with TISSUES. Hahahhaha ! Ok so we got Youth Day's mass in the hall for CD periods. Ok thank God that saved the class from looking at the boring moron =x Hah. Qiaos & I were uber holy. Hahah, sang sang sang, prayed :D I hope it worked :\

Ok so after sch, Qiaos, Michy & I went to Koven to have lunch. I swear, never ever go out with YIP QIAO LIN. She totally throw Mich & mine image AWAYYYYYYY. She was like seducing herself? & the whole group of guys & ahlians opposite were looking at her, trying to seduce the walls, I suppose. Ok so we had our lunch there. Told them about my niece noce bleeding thing. Goodness, they laughed like there's no tmr. Ok I did too =x There were plenty of laughter from us la. Michy told us about the hur three times then sneeze guy. It was really hilarious! Ask Adel or Mich about it. I feel like laughing again. Took neos. I'll upload them another time. It's so retarded, I swear! & tmr's Be Yourself Day & we can like wear anything. Like yayyyyyyy, whatever. I'm so fustrated now cos I don't know what to bring, what to wear. Ok whatever. I can't wait to type something. Heh

BUDDY'S TALKING TO ME NOW & I MISS HER A LOT & SHE IS SO UDER SWEET ! (: CAN I LIKE SEE & HUG HER UBER TIGHT NOW?!
Ok it's more like squeezing her to death. I'm telling this to the world. Hah, I really love her a lot a lot. Unexplainable. She has the sweetest lips ever. God dang! She makes my heart melt. Buddy's date soon I don't care. I must see her, MUST!! Buddy wants me to study hard & be smart. So if I did well for my exams, there;s a treat! :D If not, I don't have to talk to her anymore! Ok that's very very bad LAH :\ so I have to study lor ): (see see see! you matter a lot to me, y'know buddy!)

-
I don't wanna fall for you all over again
End up not getting you here in my arms ):

Not forgetting,
I love buddy truckloads.
(more than that)

; stick with you

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Words can't say what love can do

ok sass told me there's a english version of this lao shu song. Haha, something like, I love you, loving you. Ok it's so not nice lah. I find it retarded.

Second day of school already & I still can't put my heart into school. I can't seem to focus & study. I'm okay with maths, english & art. Talking 'bout maths. Mr Yeo's leaving us or rather, we're leaving Mr Yeo. Changing to Mrs Annie Ong. I will miss Mr Yeo & his lessons a lot ): sigh. ~~there's something else that I'd miss, too.~~ I'M SORRY I'M SORRY! I want him to teach us. He's damn nice! Bestaye wants him to be her dad! Hahaha, he's not that typical kind of dad. I want him as my dad too! :) Had 4 periods of art. Quite interesting but half the time I'm falling asleep. I didn't have enough sleep & now my face is disfigured with the countless pimples attack. UGH so irritating. I gotta sleep early today (I wonder if I really do it).

Lunch at compass with Sass & Bestaye, home. I was too tired & the phonecalls are irritating me. Sis keep calling me 'cos she wants to play Maple. & she calls like every 15 mins. Damn I shouldn't have bought that cd home. My eyes are closing, I'm yawning my life away & tearing at the same time.

I wanna go shopping, anyone?

Initial D again, a Lot like Love with me!

Cry out loud, cry over spilt milk, anyone? )'=

I'll go download more fonts.

Tata//

Come on over baby

Let me be the one to show you

I'm the one who wants to be with you

<3333333333333333333333333333

HAVE YOU EVER? ):

; stick with you

Monday, June 27, 2005

Drop a name, break a heart

ok I just finished bestaye's & my art. My back is aching, bag not packed, sis is waiting for me to go over & accompany her, report book not signed. Fuck it.

Sometimes I really wished in a day, there's 48 hours :\
The ingrow nail is irritating me. It hurts so bad now ):

Anyone has the book Conversations With God? :DDDDDDDD

I got the sudden urge to pour out cry. Cry over spilt milk. I don't know why. Maybe because of today. =\ That broken heart never stop beating. Oh fart.

I'd probably update tmr.
Tata//

; stick with you

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Our gossip lips stuttered every word I said, I said

Friday, 240605
Dad brought us & Aunt Ferline & Cherilyn(cousin) to Healthzone. Fruitful trip, I'd say. I learnt quite a lot of things though (: After that, we went to Safra at Mount Faber. Went to the cafe to have a drink, wait for some bowling competition to end (: Bowl-ed. Went for dinner at Lemongrass, again! Long, tiring day. I enjoyed myself though.

Saturday, 250690
Met up with Nette, Sass & Yannee (: Watched Initial D. I'm so in love with Jay & Edison now ! Jay is uber cute when he smiles & daydream. Edison is so cool la. (: Cheryl & Dale was also watching the same show at PS. Hahaha, they wanted to meet me but ahahah, the show ended late. After the show we went to FEP to buy presents. Went down to BK to waste time. Waited for Dad to come. Dad fetched us to Tekka Mall to 'market' at Sheng Siong. Bought a lot of things. After that went to Amoy Street for dinner (: HOME!

Sunday, 260605
Went to Aunt Shirley's place (: Just came back not long ago. Now on the phone with Dale & Cheryl.

I'm missing you ):

; stick with you

Thursday, June 23, 2005

77TH STREET JUST CALLED.

I WON MYSELF A MYCHEMICALROMANCE CD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-JUMPS!
-SCREAMS!
-BOUNCE!

YOU NEVER KNOW HOW BADLY I WANTED THIS CD & MOM REFUSED TO GET IT FOR ME. AHHAHA!

NEXT, CAN I HAVE THE USED? :)
OK, I'M GREEDY.

I LOVE YOU, PAPA (:

; stick with you

It's true romance is dead, I shot it in the chest then in the head

Currently,

Fall Out Boy - Sugar, We're Going Down
Fall Out Boy - The Music or Misery
Lonestar - Smile
Wheatus - Teenage Dirtbag
The Futureheads - Meantime
Blink 182 - Everytime I look for you
Bon Jovi - I'll Be There For You
Bon Jovi - Thank You For Loving Me
Boyzone - Love Me For a Reason
Vertical Horizon - Goodbye Again
Jimmy Eat World - The World You Love
Less Than Jake - She's Gonna Break Soon

are nice (:

I wanna get earrings. :\ I like the one Amd has, Sharene's one is nice too. (: Jaslyn's dp one is nice too. Hmmm, EARRINGS!

Apparently in the family now, I'm in the headlines. Mom & Dad doesn't know about it. Aunts wonder where is my future, what am I gonna do after my O's. They think that Dad won't send me to overseas to study. :\ But Dad told me he would, if I want to. I was shocked when I heard about this. Never did I thought I would be the one they're talking about. I gotta study hard la :\ Sigh. I rreally wanna go overseas & study. I can't probably stay here in spore. RAH! I don't know la.

I'm working out the sum of money Dad gotta fork out. It's not gonna be easy for him, I know. Neither is it for me. Money is a big problem here. If I'm going over, I need to be independent. This is so i don't think i can make it. Hahaha, but I'll get used to it, I hope.

I dislike last night's dinner & the dining place. Wanna know where? In some dirty looking, smells like rotten fish, dead chickens, food doesn't look good place & yet the food was OKAY. & It's in Golden Mile Complex. I hope that is the first & the last time there. Phew! I hate such places. Cousin was there to sell tix for the opera show organised by Uncle. That place is damn sick please. It's all RA shows. -slaps forehead. & guess what my nephew, Rhys said! Hahah, he's only primary two, mind you. "here the show cannot watch one. people in the show didn't wear shirt, didn't wear pants. on the bed shhhhhmmmmuuuuaaaccckkkssss(with the hand sign.) kiss leh." & he give that I'm so innocent but I know smile. Haha. That made all of us laughed. That place is too quiet, very freaky. & the lift is like the on in Ju-On. Yikes!

-

Just like goodbye notes, you doon't really care afterall.

-

Am I more than you bargained for yet
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
Cause that's just who I am this week
Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
(A notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)

Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it

Is this more than you bargained for yet
Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
(Notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)

Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team

We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it
[x2]

Down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it

We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)
And Sugar, we're going down swinging (Take back what you said)
I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it

We're going down, down (down, down)
Down, down (down, down)
We're going down, down (down, down)
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it

We're going down, down in an earlier round (Take aim at myself)
And Sugar, we're going down swinging (Take back what you said)
I'll be your number one with a bullet (Take aim at myself)
A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it

; stick with you

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

You're on your own but not alone

Check this out, Here. All about gossips & everything. They got the guts to write it out. Hur.

Sj's chalet's on today. But sadly, I'm not going la. :\

I'm having a tough fight with my mom over friends problem, again.

& she's driving me up to the wall.

Pfft.

I miss everyone badly now ):

Sassy! / Qiaos / Chanel / Qians / Jeanette / Anne! / MichelleLim! / Rachael! / MichelleLee / Joanna! / Toi / Tricia / Xiu Wen / Yao Jun / Shi Jing / Cecilia / Yolanda / Vicky / Sharilyn / Stephanieeeee! / AManDa! / Caroline! / Lydia! / DALE! / Adeline / Shyan! / Persis / Varron / Yan Nee / Jaclyn / Kelly / Chou Woon / Lynne! / HazelSim / Sheryl! / HazelTan / Natasha! / Meryl! / Alvina / BUDDY! / Beatrice / Sherina! / Belle! / Yet Lim / ValarieSoh / Shermin / ValerieHu / Denise! / Josh! / Maureen / Nessa! / SarahFong / Jasmit / Jayshree / Janet! / Mae / Zaeron / Sauyan / Cheryl(: / LynetteSiew /

,you, you, you, you & you.

appear now, will you? ):

my heart misses you, love.

Take the quiz: "WhichCelebrity It Girl are You?"

Nicole
You are Nicole. You used to be a hopeless sidekick, but you ditched that media whore and turned out, everyone loves you just as much! You are funny and sexy! As long as you keep being yourself everyone is gonna love you more than ever!

Try that (:

; stick with you

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

I wish you could see the way you kiss & how much I miss that.

I saw something that I wished I didn't. Sigh & I'm starting all my nonsense all over again. I'm not supposed to. Look around & ask how many had given up on me 'cos I refused to listen to their advices & continue doing stuff that I ain't supposed to.

Moving on, letting go, saying goodbyes.
That's what I'm supposed to do,
& I'm not doing it.

Crying a thousand river, looking back, missing ~~you.~~
That's what I'm not supposed to do,
& I'm doing it.

I wonder what you're doing right at this moment. :
-

; stick with you

Monday, June 20, 2005

I wanna watch a Lot like Love!!

Click here!

Cheryl told me not to buy iPod 'cos it's LAO YA!

iPod's appearance is nice, compared to Zen
but functions, Zen is way much better.
DECIDED. Lime GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!

; stick with you

Too blind to see tomorrow, too broke to beg or borrow

Okay, I shall start blogging from, friday? Right.

Friday, 170605.

Alright, nothing much actually. Stayed home to watch the dvds. Watched part of American Pie II & find it's polluting my mind, Meet The Fockers got stucked, Kung Fu Hustle was funny (: Played SIMS awhile after that, went for dinner. Home, tv (: Yeah, I lead a boring life.

Saturday, 180605

Kwai's birthday. Greeted her just right after that clock goes 12.00. (: Anyway, Happy Birthday to you, Kwai <3

Hahah, alrightt. Wasn't feeling too good throughout the day though & I didn't know why. Sister wanted to have breakfastlunch at Hai Tian Luo but it's was totally full all the way till 1.30pm. Mom was hungry so decided to go Little India & eat my fav duck rice there! (: Hah. After that, dad drove us to to Jurong & Clmenti(SPELL?). He had to do some checking. I realised he's darn busy on both weekdays & weekends, which is everyday. Pfft. Walked around, sis bought a pair of pants, NICE! I wanted to get the earrings. PRETTY (: I didn't, afterall. After that went to Tao Payoh. That place seriously good for fishing, y'know? (qiao lin, sarah?!) Went to Popular, mom bought me SIMS Deluxe Edition! :D teehee ! Walked around & my foot hurt badly. I was wearing heels. Hah. Went for dinner at Sakae Sushi, again! :D Hahah, I realised I go there once a week! Oh well, sis loveeeeeeee the food there. Home after that (:

I wasn't happy at all, I don't know why.

Sunday, 190605

Cheryl's birthday. Didn't came online, didn't had her number, so didnt greet her. Anyhows, Happy Birthday, Cheryl :) & it's father's day. Happy Father's day to all fathers, grandfathers & fathers-to-be in the world! <3

Okay,woke up early to go for some events at the theme park for the children's society. Embrys drove me there, we had breakfast together & all. I realised almost all my cousins smoke without anyone knowing, hur. Jonathan, Wei Sen, Terrance & Embrys. :\ Then we walked to the theme park after breakfast, saw plenty kids! :D Got my name tag & all. Valerie, Allan, Nat, Rhys, Embrys & myself, all were wearing blur tee! Hahaha! Cool or what! Hah! Took group photo before we go in. The kids were really cute la. ;) Okay, we were the first few to get in. (okay, of course, it's 10 in the morning!) Embrys & I were supposed to take care of Nat & Rhys. I thought it was gonna be hell but it turned out well (: Nat didn't throw temper, didn't cry or anything (: Rhys is always good boy, to me. HE was never a problem. Okay, played almost all. Val, Auntie Alex(she's a bung & she's Val's sister), Auntie Joan(she's Auntie Alex's gf) & I went to ride on the Panasonic Rollarcoaster (: We were the only one who screamed so loud? =x Sat on the pirate ship again with Val, Auntie Samantha with Wei Ling, one of the kids, Auntie Joan & Auntie Alex. Wei Ling look rather pitiful to me. She got bruises all over her arms. Embrys thinks that she just recovered from Chicken Pox & I seriously don't think it's true. It's either she got bullied, abused or she got illness. I don't dare to ask her, it's just not right, I thought. She looked happy to me though. She called me Jie Jie in a very polite way :) & that made me smile! A pity she doesn't has parents or her parents doesn't wants her. :\ See how fortunate you are now, little miss? =\ Val got extra child complimentory tix cos' four kids from the orphanage got Chicken Pox, so I decided to ask Qiaos & Nette to come. :) Qiaos was craving for it la. Waited for them to come, introduced them to all. Everyone there is friendly! Maybe not all, Allan isn't. Hahaha! He seriously isn't okay. The way he wave at Qiaos & Nette is like half dead. Okay, I know he's tired. :\ Some people that I really don't know just talk me like we know each other very well. Hahah, some jiejies & korkors. Hahah. They're very funny, in fact, they're nice (: I had enjoyable, fruitful day even though it all ended early. I've been Nette & Qiaos, played till my legs went wobbly(?), screamed till my throat is starting to hurt, got tanned. Teehee (: Esp the ride I took with Nette & Qiaos. That ride almost took my life away, by screaming ONLY. I guess it's the Flipper? Hah yeah. Embrys sent all of us home.

Mom bought Rotiboy for me (: Teehee. Dad got my i-no-longer-want bike fixed. Mom got me my wanted mic! :DDD

I feel so uneasy without you around ):

Right Here Waiting's playing.

~~Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks, I'll be right here waiting for you.~~

I'm sitting here, thinking 'bout how am I gonna do without you around in my life.

; stick with you

Friday, June 17, 2005

Don't let today's disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow's dreams

Doesn't that sound so true? (: I'm letting yesterday's pain cast a shadow on future dreams. Awww :\ My stomach never takes a break. I'm having regular tummyaches, as usual. When is it gonna end? Hopefully, it's not something like stomach cancer. (Can I go hooray?!)

My morning brightened up by.. BUDDDY! :D Awww, that sweet pea. She made me so happy. :) Sweet stuff, sweet little thang! I started the day happy, I'll end the day happier. :D That naughty buddy has been skipping lectures. Tsk tsk! Okay, not like I don't skip classes :\

I spent my whole Thursday afternoon in Compass Point with mom, sis, godma & vanessa(godma's daughter, so that makes her my godsis?)! The legs took a rest, but the mouth would not. Hahaha, mom couldn't stop bladdering. Okay, cannot blame her. I told her if there's anything bothering her, or whatsoever, POUR MOM, POUR IT TO ME. I'll listen. Sometimes it's Dad. Oh god. You don't wanna know how old fashioned thinking my dad has. It's darn bad la. But I always tell myself, it's all good for me. & I don't know why the hell they're still against my wishes. Boy, I hate that. Pfft. Of course Dad's not always the one. Sometimes, it's me, sis or work. Like what godma said, it's a good sign that both of us tell mom what goes on on the outside when they're not around. (: Know why? 'Cos her daughter hardly tells her. Hahah, I bet everyday after school from now, she's gonna ask her daughter what happens at school. Hahah. Oh, sis & I had a bet. If I wins, she gotta get me that green & orange stud I've been craving for. If she wins, I gotta get her the next issue of Princess. Hahaha! Yayy! I won!! I only got the orange one 'cos some !#$%# took my GREEEEEEEEEEEEN one away. ): That cheaterbug. At the last min, she decided to back out. Yeah right, I didn't let her.

While I was using the comp before we head to Compass Point, some rock website appeared & I find it quite cool, Here. Heh.

I'm not done with Miss Sek's holiday homework!!!!!! Omg, kill me now. I'm gonna get a little taste of hell if I don't finish it before school reopens. Oh god, I better do it later. :\

DJ Sammy's Heaven is so smoothing & beautiful. Perfect. It's getting me addicted to that song please! Know what, Mom wants to put me in grooming class for a week. Joy! I won't go. :P No no, I'd go.. shopping instead. Pay $500 & let me go for sucha stupid course. Ugh! She thinks that I can't sit properly, I can't communicate with them, I don't have proper manners. Oh god, I do have okay. I'm not like some worstest people. :\

I'm not gonna give a shit to that course. Pfft!

AHHH! I forgot to call Embrys!! Holy shit. Ohwell, he's the guy, let him call me instead. Heh! I'm far too lazy to move a nail. I was supposed to go with him to do some short film thing? Yeah, to prepare me for my next art assignment. Yayy! He's sucha nice guy! He even offer to bring to me out. Agreed on POOL! Yayy! He rawk la (:

Meet The Fockers, later when sis's not around! She's going for her pathetic tuition! Whoo! :) I'm gonna watch it! I'm gonna watch it!

Thanks buddy (:

Remember what I said just now okay?

You're nowhere, but here. -points to heart

<333>

; stick with you

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Oh no, no, no, no

If love was a bird
Then we wouldn't have wings
If love was a sky
We'd be blue
If love was a choir
You and I could never sing
Cause love isn't for me and you

If love was an Oscar
You and I could never win
Cause we can never act out our parts
If love is the Bible
Then we are lost in sin
Because its not in our hearts

*chorus,
So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
~~Cause we're better off, separated~~

If love was a fire
Then we have lost the spark
Love never felt so cold
If love was a light
Then we're lost in the dark
Left with no one to hold

If love was a sport
We're not on the same team
You and I are destined to lose
If love was an ocean
Then we are just a stream
Cause love isn't for me and you

*chorus,

Girl I know we had some good times
~~It's sad but now we gotta say goodbye~~
Girl you know I love you, I can't deny
I can't say we didn't try to make it work for you and I
~~I know it hurts so much but it's best for us~~
Somewhere along this windy road we lost the trust
So I'll walk away so you don't have to see me cry
It's killing me so, why don't you go

*chorus,

-
): I don't want another heartbreak.

I can find the meanings now, Here. Interesting! Try it. :D

Later!

-

Sigh, we promised so much but now..
we're both leading our own lives.
Goodbye, sweet love.

; stick with you

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

I guess this time you're really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
Well as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love is suicide
You say you've cried a thousand rivers
And now you're swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won't save me anymore
I'm praying to God you'll give me one more chance girl

I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you

I know you know we've had some good times
Now they have their own hiding place
Well I can promise you tomorrow
But I can't buy back yesterday
And baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your Valentine
I'll be the water when you get thirsty baby
When you get drunk, I'll be the wine

I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you

I wasn't there when you were happy
And I wasn't there when you were down
Didn't mean to miss your birthday baby
I wish I'd seen you blow those candles out

I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for ...

I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you ...

-

Perfect. Duan Dian's playing.
I miss your tender loving touch ):

wo wan le jing tian,
jiu bu yao zai jian mian.
wo hai ba wo mei tian xing lai xiang ni hao ji pian ):
weishemeiniyaolikai?
wo hensheyaoni :\

; stick with you

The red poison from your lips is where I kissed the blood from

I got that idea from AMANDA. (:

Seriously, if I could choose, I DO NOT want to fall in love okay. DAMN!

Okay, you bitch, You ought be dead la okay. How long are you gonna take to let it go. It's just peanuts okay? Throw those dumb memories away, all in the rubbish bin & thats it! You know, you dont have to cry for her & you know that she doesn't care, at all?! Why just leave her alone? She's not yours & you'll never be with her. If you bloody think that you both are gonna be together, HELLO IDIOT? you're so not gonna be with her? C'mon la okay. Think 'bout how badly she hurt you in the beginning. It's not worthwhile la, you s-lut! Who wouldn't want to be with the one they love? Everybody wants to, you're not the only one okay. Stop being selfish la, assssshole. It's been so long, it's time to fucking let it go, bitch! You're taking like forever just to leave something behind! Oh fuck & it's taking bloody long yeah? How long else mroe do you wanna take? Another 10 years when she's gonna get married?! Appear in front of her & tell her, "oh so sorry, I can't forget you. can u give me another chance?" OH please, whore, THINK! You bloody got no brains or what?! Ugh! I'm off! Get lost!

& this is going out to..

GLYNIS TAN.
the bloody fool who fell in love <3

oh fuck off please.
-

; stick with you

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

You came & turn my whole world upside down

It's fucking fourteen today! :] My bill's cut off date, great. Clique's dropping by next week instead 'cos everyone seem to be busy this week, OKAY (: At least they're dropping by & I don't have to move my sorry ass out. I'm too lazy & I know I won't be able to go for long. Pfft. I'm so tired. Slept at two last night. Finished watching The Parent's Trap twice & 13 going on 30. I'm so bloody tired please.

The Parent's Trap is damn nice, very sweet. (: While I'm typing this, I daydreamed for awhile & I'm like half asleep. Talking about dreams, I dreamt about something so special yesterday! Of course, it's something that will never come true :\ & it's about someone special! !#%$& I realised I woke up grinning away! (: Awww, it's so fantasy la okay. & know what? Due to my very jialat & hopeless memory I have, I can't remember part of the dream. I only remember the main part of the dream. HAWHAWHAW, I'll not forget la hur (:

I'm feeling as though I got hungover. DANG!

I saw Caroline & Wyn's photos. They've been together for 7teen months, aight. I SEE GREEN & GREEN SEES ME :( Sometimes, when the love last, it feels so good to be in love, y'know? But when things just doesn't go right for two, sigh.

-

If your heart's in the right place, then go on (:

; stick with you

Monday, June 13, 2005

I love thee (:

Look!

Besties for Life <3

Till death do us part <3

Shyan & I / hubby!

Zell & I.

omg, anyone?!!!

I'm darn bored ): I'll put up more when I edit them all. (:

They produced good lyrics, Here. They got what I want, at least. Boy, letssingit.com can't get what I want la. Pfft.

Clique's dropping by on tuesday! (: Uber happy! & know what, it's tmr! Heh. When I lost you as a bestest friend, I got them. Phew ): I'm unhappy. (: Whee, I'm looking forward, yayyyy!

; stick with you

Sunday, June 12, 2005

For you, my sweet embrace; Heaven knows I've been waiting for you

I'M SORRY MICHELLE, I'M SORRY ! ):
I didn't mean to make you wait for my reply & end up, all you got is something you don't wish to get back as a response. DUI BU QI!! :\

8 times round the track :] fruitful fruitful fruitful ! yayy !

Marketing again :) Bought a lot of things. Mom got a dvd set in our room, so next time we wanna watch movies, we can watch it in our own room instead. (: When friends drop by, we can have movie maraton ( SPELL?!) ! :) I don't feel good the entire day & I fricking don't know why. I bloody need a new template. DANG.

eunice > i think u shld nt wait le.coz u seem stupiid.u love her.will she care.will she ever bother abt ur presence ?
ME > -nodds. i agree TOTALLY. Sigh. its all no
eunice >den why be so silly?u will hurt urself more if u continue to wait for her.like me towards *.my frens all scolded me until i cannot take it.i almost cry.i feel stupid.
ME > i dont know. i'm feeling silly.
eunice > ya.u are.stop all the nonsense.and live ur life happily
ME > i want to
eunice > so stop those stupidness
ME >i cant seem to let go
eunice > yes u can.everytime u saw her.say to urself.i dun love her.just keep saying
ME >its not easy la.
eunice >can one la.trust me
ME >it's not easy
eunice > i noe la.find other ppl la !
me > you think very easy ah. find her twin for me la
eunice > even is *’s twin also no use.u cant everything also * * * !
ME > wo jui shi want her
Eunice > wake up la! SHE DUN WAN U!CAN U JUST WAKE UP!ITS ALL A NIGHTMARE!WAKE UP AND ITS OVER! Argh! u damn stubborn!
ME >thank you
eunice > no need thank me.hw u going to forget her.and carry on with ur life!
ME > i dont know how to forget la
Eunice > find someone u love la.bt not * la.someone u can love with ur heart.and forget *
ME > i will try
Eunice > ok.good. finally. lols

(C'mon, it's all because ~~I love YOU~~. Bloody hell.)

Eunice almost killed me okay. She talk as if the next min, she's gonna kill me & I'm gonna die in her hands. Roflol.

I wanna go church, anyone ?

-

; stick with you

Saturday, June 11, 2005

SAVE ME FROM THIS MISERY.

I'm getting damn paranoid, really. I told Mich & she thinks so, too. She didn't reply my messages & I get annoyed, very. I was thinking WILD, very wild. :\ SHIT, what's going on. Adel was online but she didnt reply me & I'm thinking very wild. SHIT is happening. Boy, how. I'm getting out of control. SHIT. (I'm sorry mich, sorry adel!)

I was thinking if the both of you hates me that much or what have I done to make the both of you treat me this way. Okay, maybe I'm wrong. Best friend, I called you that & I treat you the way a best friend should. Boy oh boy & I need you now, y'know ): I'm feeling at my worst.

God, lift me up & don't let me fall.
Make believe that you're here with me. (:

RAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ignore okay!

; stick with you

Those words fell on deaf ears.

I wondered to myself yesterday, in the car with dad going to aunt's place for dinner. What do I wanna ask or tell God when I meet Him someday? I wanna thank him for everyone in my life. Every one of them made a difference in my life & I love all of them. I'm grateful for having them. (: & I wanna thank Him for what my parents had done for me all these while. Thanks to them, if not, there wouldn't be me, standing here today. I also wanna thank him for all those obstacles. All those made me learnt. It made me realise what's important in life & what's wrong, what's right. I love God :]

I wanna ask God, how is He able to give out SO MUCH love while I can't. I just wanna shower love to all whom showered too much love on me. Especially that someone special (: I want her to know that I'd always here for her, I've been always caring for her & I ~~love~~ her a lot. I wanna ask God why he made life so unfair for some, while people like me got everything I want & other don't. I wanna ask God if he could exchange my life with that someone special, channel all her pain & worries to me & bring my joy & happiness to her. I'm willing to. I want to see her happy. I don't mind taking her place. If we gotta exchange our lives, I would. I just want to see her happy. I wanna ask God why He made memories, why He made things past by so fast & why didn't He made our love last longer. :\ Well, I STILL thank God for those memories :]

Enough of the HOLYness :] No one's home now. Michy just went off to her friend's place. (: I'm so fucking bored. Some bitch tried to screw me on blogskins. Whatever!

Go listen to Corrinne May's songs. I've downloaded all. They're beautiful. (: I love. <3

My eyes are starting to itch, SHIT!

Later!

one more try, baby
i love you.

; stick with you

Friday, June 10, 2005

I got this from Beloved's entry :] Pretty nice poem.

Forget his name, forget his face
Forget his kiss, and warm embrace
Forget the love that you once knew
Remember now, there's someone new

Forget the love that you once shared
Forget the face that you once cared
Forget the times you spent together
Remember now, he's gone forever

Forget you cried the whole night long
Forget him when he played your song
Forget how close you two once were
Remember now, he has chosen her

Forget you memorized his walk
Forget the way he used to talk
Forget the things he used to say
Remember now, he's gone away

Forget the nights you were alone
Forget you wanted him to phone
Forget he was your entire world
Remember now there's another girl

Forget the talks you both once had
Forget him though he made you sad
Forget the things he used to do
Remember now he loves her too

Forget the thrills when he walked by
Forget the times he made you cry
Forget the way he spoke your name
Remember now, he just played a game

Forget how he used to hold your hand
Forget the sweet things if you can
Forget the times you were a fool
Remember now he doesn't love you

Forget the times that went so fast
Forget them all, they're just in the past
Forget the dreams that can't come true
Forget the boy... cos he has forgotten you.

Sigh. Forget, goodbye, let go & move on, glynis. Time's up. It's been so long ): I can't probably sit & wait for her to come. =\

Michy & I didn't talk after she came back & I know what's gonna take place AGAIN. Yeah AGAIN :\ We promised not to let that happen.

I feel left out between you two. Call me silly. You both talk about things that I don't know, that's why x(

AMD & I are doing some catching up (: Pouring out everything, telling her like everything (: Hah & I love AMD! :) Thanks for being there darhling! Advices were great. Afterall, the same conclusion, LET GO.

God, I need you to help me pull through all these obstacles.

; stick with you

do what that makes you happy, baby.

Cherilyn's coming over now. She wants to use the comp like desperately. Hahaha! BOUNCE I told her to buy breakfast for me. Heh. Or should I say, lunch. Hah!

Okay. Supposed to go out with Adel & Michy but dad wants me to stay home instead. He thinks I need to improve on my studies. Yeah, I know I have to & I've been doing it, seriously! Just that he hadn't seen me doing it, that's why. =\ I've revised sec1 & 2 work! Hmph. I'll talk to him tonight again. I wanna go out tmr. Pffft.

Okay yesterday. Mom came back during lunch to clean up the house before we go to granny's place. Took a cab down to their place. Practically everyone was sleeping. Hahah. But when we arrived, the doorbell made everyone, except Jermaine, woke up. :) Hahaha. Okay, then talk, sat around. Watched vcds after vcds. Hahaha! Jermaine's damn cute. Whee! Stayed around till, 5 plus. Went off together to compass. Zell went for her piano lessons. Mom, Aunt Shirley, Jermaine & I went to walk around. After that went for dinner. Saw TWIN there! :) I love my TWIN. & guess what? Mom finally bought the shoes for me! Yayy! :) Heh. Went to the taxi stand & wait for a cab with Aunt Shirley. Jermaine's damn cute. They way she looked at us in the cab, why like that kinda blur look. Hahaha! Zell wanted the Clikts lego set. Mom bought it for her 'cos she claims that I bought something & she didn't. Hurhur. Went home, watched telly, played the Clikits with Zell for awhile. Actually, it's quite fun. It's not lego though. It's like designing your own cosmatic kit. Hahaha! Hilarious, Glynis plays that.

Just downloaded The Power Of Your Love, One Way, Shout to the Lord & Lord, I gave you my heart. Got the sudden craving to listen to these song. Hahh. (: Nice & smoothing. REFLECT, GLYNIS, REFLECT!!

Hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side
And as I wait
I'll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
In the power of Your love

See how much God loves me (:

; stick with you

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Do what that would make you happy - michelle's current nick

something perfect to reflect on. (:

only you can make me happy

; stick with you

FUCK IT, I ~~DON'T~~ WANT YOU BACK

Playing games with Zaeron now (: Hahaha! She's winning la, damn! Just finished doing five bulletin. Heh :] Okay, now she's giving in, teaching me how to win. Heh, afterall, I still won. :D Thanks zaeron !

Spent the whole day with granny yesterday (: Love her to bits please. Mom refuses to buy the mac cds for me & granny agreed to buy it for me. She even paid for lunch. I feel darn bad la. =\ Walked around in compass, went to the night market later on. Bought a lot of things. Uh huh (: I know granny had a lot fun. It's been long since I last saw her so happy already. I know she ain't very happy staying in my uncle's place. Ohwell. Jermaine's going to granny's place today! I hadn't seen her for months please! :D I'd drop by there later. Zell wants to find out where her friend lives, cos she's going to her birthday party next week, I think.

Piano was great yesterday, I swear. I never felt so good after piano lessons before. Hahah! I finally finished learning first half of that piece. (: Whee! Oh oh oh! & mom told dad that we saw the track shoes that I wanted! Although it's not the hot red one, as long as I can wear, CONTENTED. (: & runs, here I come! :D (Michelle would probably hammer me if I don't get them before this weekend.)

Know what?
MICHY'S BACK FROM THE I-THINK-IT'S-BLOODY-LONG THREE DAY CAMP! :D

Like yayy! :) Heh. I'm darn happy la hur. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Oh & I learnt how to download fonts already (: Heh. I learnt something new! Double yayy!

Poof! Bye bye (:

i'm sorry.
i still love you.
i want you back. :\
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh everyday of my life :\

; stick with you

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Sometimes I wished, I never really exist.

Yeah, I wished. =\ I felt like I never exist. No matter how much I seem to care, no one responds or even appreciate. Yeah, maybe I deserve all these shiats. But what, all these comes from close friends. You wouldn't like it, neither would I. Yeah, I think I should shut up now. =
I saw her profile, like finally. She didn't allow anyone to see it. but I got my way. -shrugs. Too bad, baby, I caught you red handed. WAHAHA. Okay, very evil. I am evil, only to her. :D

Yeah, you know who am I talking about. We didn't think that we're the greatest, smartest, we didn't think that we're perfect. No one is. Don't make assumptions. We got a life to live, we got everything we want. Shut up & get lost? Hahaha, JOKE baby, JOKE. If you think we're getting in your way, why not you leave? You wanna see how many people feel that we're right, go ahead & count. I'm sure, we've got more than we expect. Go tell everyone your very-kelin-but-not-the-truth story. Sure, why not. There's people believe you but what, we'll go the other way round. I'd walk another way, tell them the truth & make the people who suffer, be witness to your oh-so-true story. I know, all these is bad karma. What we once said, would all come back to ourselves. Uh huh (: & about your babyy, no one wanted to take her away from you, please. She doesn't like her anymore & she doesn't want to go back to her. Oh, correction babe. She was once hers & once yours. No one wants to take your life away la hur. I've said my piece. Go ahead & screw me behind my back.

Okay whatever.

Michy & Adel.
Where the hell are you now.
Hurry come back larrrrrrrrrrr.

; stick with you

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there.

I feel like watching Honey again. =\ I wanna watch a lot like Love!! Heh. But one movie tix is like, err, 10 fucking bucks. Yeah right, I could buy like two meal. =\ Anyway, Val told me that some theatre(i forgot where) sells tix at 5 bucks for a show. & it's damn far. If I'm not wrong, it's jurong or bedok, I think.

Just talk to Miaoxin not long ago. I realised primary school friends changed hella lots, please. Few that I was quite close to, like we play everyday after school, all become so act lian. omg, tell me this isn't true. =\ Ohwell, don't bother.

Okay, some poser wanted to act as Cheryl, created a email address & friendster account. She claims that she is Cheryl. Yeah rightttttttttttttttttttttttt. She even gave me her handphone number. Pfffft. Whatever la. Cheryl went to report. Hahah great! (:

Okay & I'm damn bored now. =\

-

; stick with you

Monday, June 06, 2005

I got my friends, I should be more than okay.

Yeah, I should be more than okay. Just when I was about to start my nonsense, buddy texted. (: & I'm crapping away with her! It's a good morning exercise! Hahaha! Thanks buddy! Yeah & now she's rushing for class.

OH! Michy went for camp already ): Everyone seem to be so busy this holiday. I don't know where's my girlfriend & adel. Clique is like, I don't know how to say but somehow it's like locked up. Uh huh, that's the word. Don't talk about it anymore, I know Sassy's disappointed. Rol, amd & lyd, I don't know about them. Rol's supposed to text me & talk. Amd & lyd are like damn busy. Sigh.

I'm feeling conned! Okay, I don't know if I should believe that. I'll try finding it out, ohwells.

ROL!
call me hurry!
talk talk talk! :)

(:

; stick with you

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Please don't try so hard to say goodbye.

Yeah, I'm feeling a tiny better. I shall blog about yesterday. =\

So morning I went to school, waited for the rest, went off in the bus & headed to Botanic Gardens. The blooooody weather kills, I swear. & I don't know what I was drawing. =\ Had lunch near the pond. (: Nice scenery! Lovely. After that, went to the art muesum. Nice, cooling place, AIR CONDITIONED. :) Like finally. Anyway, we went to the nearby 7eleven. Bought food, drinks & all. Sat around, finished everything, went back. After that we went to some dumb market la. It's damn boring. Interesting thing there is, ah peks & pervents are all there. Like so sick? They keep looking at us all. Ugh! Got one uncle was like, "xiao mei mei, hua wo la hua wo la. wo ge ni qian hua wo la". another, "hua wo leh. wo pose hao hao, ni men hua wo okay." It's so !#$%. A big turn off. Hurried off did blind contour & went back to the bus. Okay, like finally, our last destination & our fav one! :) ESPLANADE. & Chanel thinks that I can't wait to go there because !#$%& might be there. Ugh! Seriously, that place is so filled with memories. Ohwells, shut up glynis. Find a spot, sat around & started drawing again. I drew the part where HSBC & the Fullerton hotel, stretch all the way down to the brigde, (: Had dinner there, facing the beautiful night scene. Someday, we'll go there together, alright? x) Yeah, I'm dreaming. =\ Pffft. Snap back to reality. Miss teh dismissed us at around 8pm. Went to the rooftop, had a heart-to-heart talk with sassy dear. (: Left at around 830pm, immediately head to compass to meet adel & mich! :) Oh boy, I miss them so-oh much, please! Sat around. Mom called to say she's fetching me home. Like how retarded. I only stay like across compass point. Pffft. Anyway, I know she meant well. :)

It's all said & done.
I tell this once, gotta go.

; stick with you

Damn! Damn! Damn! Like what I told Sass last night, What if he held you up so high, suddenly he just let go of you without any warning, leaving you with tonsa hope? You wouldn't know how bad things would be like. You wouldn't like it either, would you?

Afterall, I shouldn't put too much hope in that yesterday. If not I'd be perfectly fine & happy. Yeah rightttt.

I'm TRYING not to think too much, but I guess it's useless.

FUCK YOU LARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
DAMN!

TELL ME,
WHY DO I LOVE YOU?

; stick with you

Thursday, June 02, 2005

They say, love is pain & pain is love.

I'm free from school today (: Clique is out for an outing & I doubt I can go. No one called to tell me the details & all. =\ Nevermind then. I guess, I'll go down to toa payoh & get the phone set, radio & hotplate for godma's housewarming party on Sunday. Mom bought the radio for me & phone set for herself. Hahaha, my phone is still doing fine but the one that she & dad is using is totally spoilt. Hah.

I got the craziest friend ever, SARAH FONG SI YING. She doesn't want a prince charming, she wants to wait for her pimpleface prince to come. slaps forehead- Tell me, she's crazy!!!! Okay, shut up.

Yeah, aunts all were talking about some illness last night & dad told them that grandma's suffering the same thing. I realised how hopeless I was. I didn't know that she was suffering from that. I hadn't seen her for three weeks & I miss her a lot. She went all the way down to Skin Centre to consult doctor, ALONE with two very mischievous kids. That was during the exam period. It's not that I don't wanna bring her there, no one told me that she needs help & all. Damn! I don't end up regretting, again. I guess I'll go visit her soon. Sigh. Mommy, three weeks has past & I hadn't see granny. Mommy, three weeks.

I shall stop thinking about all this shiats. I know it's all worthless. =\ But baby, listen. All I wanted was you. ): What won't you grant me that?

broken ;
youmademefeel.

; stick with you

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

One year six months, baby. How long would I take to forget you this time?

I'm looking at those pictures all over again. Memories of you, yeah you, AGAIN. I can't pretend that I'm very happy when I'm not. I can't continue pretending. It's time to cut all the act. Going on pretending like, things had always gone my way, NO WAY.

It's time to take the last kiss & forget you. ):

I've got no time to cry, for you.

; stick with you

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

*chorus,
Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh
Every day of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

*chorus,

I watched you die
I heard you cry
Every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry
In the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

*chorus,

Because of you
Because of you

-

): don't bother.

; stick with you

I'm falling into memories of you & things we used to do

You got me thinking of you so bad. You got me hocked up onto our memories & never let go. Everything in my mind. is memories of you. ): I don't wanna drag this on but I can't seem to let you. Holding on ain't going to do me any good. Sigh. All did that few months of honeymood end off so fast, just like that but I will not forget. We were meant to be, weren't we? Sigh, I'm sorry. I can't seem to let go.

One Year Six Months is playing [: Okay, I'm in school now. Just finished the assignment that was supposed to be done yesterday. Hahaha! I spent the time talking to Zaeron instead. Hahaha! I'm bored & tired. Pfffft.

I need a new template, anyone offer to help ? Heh. Rach is not done with it yet, I guess. Ohwell. =\

It's been one year six months.
~~& I'm still hanging on.~~

; stick with you